Were you ever menaced by bullies when you were in school? Have any of your children told you about bullies at their schools? How did you react? What should we do about bullies? And, what about dangerous loners? Remember Columbine? Remember Virginia Tech?
Every school ought to have a Bully Control Committee. All over the world. Why? Because there will always be some bullies at schools. Some children were not disciplined when they first grabbed a toy from a playmate or sibling, so they learned that bullying behavior pays.
"OK," you say. "So there a few bullies at my kid's school. So what? Nothing serious happens." Really? You mean no innocent children have been robbed, badly beaten, raped, even murdered? As the bullies get older, then what? They may organize or join criminal gangs, move up the ladder to greater violence, armed robberies, rapes, and murders. How many innocent children have been shot by "stray bullets" fired by drive-by gangsters?
In some countries, bullies organize violent militias or terrorist groups. Sometimes they become military leaders, take over countries, and start wars. They are then bullying entire nations, whole populations, the world.
"Well, maybe those things can happen, but what can we do about it?" you ask. "And, how can we possibly prevent loners planning violence, like happened at Columbine High School, and at Virginia Tech, or with the Uni-bomber?"
I'm glad you asked. Fortunately, we can be very effective at managing bullies and dangerous loners. If you help organize a Bully Control Committee at your local school, and if people would do that all over the United States, and all over the world, lots of violence would be prevented, and the bullies and dangerous loners would have better lives themselves.
Start with the school that you go to or that your children or grandchildren go to. Ask if there is a Bully Control Committee, perhaps with a different name. If so, join it and participate. It's a worthy cause, and won't cost you any money. If not, organize one. Try to get the cooperation of the school principal, teachers, and other parents. The students should be involved as well. Bullies should be reported to the committee, and the committee should gain cooperation from the schools and school boards so that bullies and their parents or guardians will be contacted, and counseling will be arranged when needed. And, there have to be consequences if the bullying continues: Suspension, finally expulsion in the worst cases. Counselors should have access to juvenile courts so that the most dangerous and difficult bullies can have to spend time in juvenile detention centers, if they are an imminent threat to anyone. Parents of bullies can also be counseled and trained by professionals who volunteer to help the committees.
"Most loners are not dangerous, so how do we know which loners need any intervention?" It's true. Not all loners are dangerous killers waiting to happen. But there are clues. Teachers and fellow students have been suspicious in most cases before murders actually occurred. When these concerned people went to parents, school authorities, or the police, they were told that if no one has been killed yet, nothing can be done. Laws may have to be changed. Schools need to make rules that allow intervention. People deemed to be an imminent threat to themselves and/or others can be ordered medically evaluated by courts in some states, such as California. I have been involved in some of those cases, and it is clear to me that serious injuries and deaths have been prevented.
Work to have your schools, your communities, and your states and nations pass laws and make rules to allow reasonable intervention before it's too late. Talk about these issues with family, friends, and co-workers. Write to your officials. If you know a loner, try to get to know them. Loners often have a history of having been rejected, and some may respond to real friendliness. Which loner do you think is going to be more dangerous: The ones who feel totally alone, rejected, and isolated, or the ones who have been shown caring and friendliness?
What you SAY and what you DO does make a difference. People who give often say that the giving makes them feel that they have received much more than they gave of themselves. And, this is not just about giving of money. This is about involvement, activism, participation.
All of us can help produce a more peaceful environment for ourselves, our families, and our communities. Or, we can just wait until the violence comes to us or those we care about. Should be an easy choice.